The moral of this tale? If contemplating breaking and entering - buy a decent belt.

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Jamie Oliver’s collected a fair bit of stick for his new Ministry of Food education campaign. But one of his converts has it absolutely spot on.

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John Cleese, asked what he thinks of Sarah Palin, bursts out laughing. He then says: “It’s like a nice-looking parrot.” Watch him on YouTube and share the laughter.

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Cat, slumped over laptop keyboard: “Writers blox - I has it”

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This, from Joe Kinnear’s inaugural and quite likely only press conference as caretaker manager of beleagured Newcastle United Football Club, is priceless. Nothing like clearing the air from the outset.

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Calling all Alias fans. Think of this as Lolcats: Jack and Sydney Bristow edition.

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Here’s something that’s just too good not to share. Mourners at a Shrewsbury graveyard have got a little impatient at being told what they can and cannot put on the graves of loved ones. So they fought back. Do not click on the following link with a mouthful of liquid

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Newsnight presenter Gavin Esler is an unlikely source of very silly jokes. However, when his turn to compose the nightly viewers’ taster email comes around (a task not all his fellow presenters can bring themselves to undertake) he includes a quote of the day and a Joke Fit for a 12-year-old.

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A ‘goats in a tree’ lolcat for your delectation.

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Today’s Newsnight email has one of its regular Jokes Fit for an Eleven-Year-Old.

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