This, from Joe Kinnear’s inaugural and quite likely only press conference as caretaker manager of beleagured Newcastle United Football Club, is priceless. Nothing like clearing the air from the outset:

JK Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror's north-east football writer]?

SB Me.

JK You’re a cunt.

SB Thank you.

JK Which one is Hickman [Niall, football writer for the Express]? You are out of order. Absolutely fucking out of order. If you do it again, I am telling you you can fuck off and go to another ground.

He goes on in this vein for quite a while. Read a fuller and even more expletive-littered transcript from The Guardian here >>

The funniest bit of all is where the club press officer intervenes – twice – and declares the whole thing, an official press conference mark you, is off the record.

And if you need more entertainment, try this:

The Joy of Six: manager/media spats

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